Monkeyfetish said

The thing that draws me to poly is the desire for close friendships where friendship and love blur together into a comfortable belonging.

That’s exactly how I feel. Every relationship I ever had started as a friendship that grew closer and closer. I’m really puzzled when people say things like “I was friend-zoned” or “I wouldn’t date her, she’s a friend”. That almost makes me feel dating someone is something harmful they do.

For me it’s a continuum. Everybody starts in the stranger level. If they are bad, they go down into the not-welcome level, which is a dark place. But as I get to know people, spend time together, share activities, opinions, experiences, they go up the ladder of love to acquaintance, friend, close friend and eventually lover. 

Of course those are just some generally vague labels. There’s no graduating ceremony from one level to the next, it’s a continuum and even in the lover category a person can be higher or lower.

Well, that’s not totally true if I am monogamous; there’s a graduation to the lover category and for another person to pass that barrier, anyone who is currently there must be pushed down to another category. Generally it’s a pretty painful and messy process that ends up with people in the bottom.

That’s why I think I’m poly. I’d like people to move through my continuum of love regardless of anything else than their own merits, I’d like friendships to grow to their maximum potential.